on rest and seasonality; on integrity and sustainability

I spent the first half of this year grinding.

While obtaining my yoga teacher certification at the top of the year, I told myself I'd slow down and rest in spring.

But something had changed in me in those 3 months, and it was unavoidable that what I'd been doing would no longer work. Suddenly, I was working 4 jobs at once in the name of stability, but I felt more unstable than ever.

It became clear that I couldn't continue working in food service - mentally, spiritually, physically, I had hit my limit. So I took the leap of faith and quit my day job to pursue dancing and teaching full time - none of which promised a stable, consistent, or predictable income.

That was the start of summer, and since it's been a total whirlwind.

I got to enjoy the summer season with travel, pride, my birthday, lake days, and lots of live music. Rest was hard to come by but I'm so grateful for all the experiences I was blessed to have this summer.

Meanwhile, I've been loading up my schedule with more and more classes. I now teach 6 classes every week - my chronically injured body is still adjusting to the added strain, and the pay doesn't even come close to meeting my needs.

So I've put a mountain of undue pressure on my new business. To take off, to succeed, to be profitable.

What I really need Mindful Movement to be is sustainable. Grounded. Embodied. Integral.

I pushed hard to offer two mini retreats, a 6-week intensive, and a handful of drop in and pop up classes all summer. And thanks to you all, it was a huge success! But I can't lie and say that I felt grounded or fulfilled.

I feel burnt out, exhausted, and full of impostor syndrome. I know I've had a long list of wins so far but I can't celebrate them because I feel scattered and depleted. The offers that didn't sell were a huge blow to my confidence and my bank account. It's a lot to be both your own boss and your own cheerleader.

So I'm taking the month of September off for my wellbeing. I won't be active on any of my Instagram pages, and I won't be offering any classes or workshops through Mindful Movement.

You can still drop in to move with me every week all around the metro area - check my IG story highlights for the schedule :)

I'll be taking this time to rest and replenish. To invest into my relationships, with self and others. It's not sustainable to be the space-holder all the time when that space isn't being held for you.

I'll be creating art, not to share or launch into yet another monetization venture. Creating to fill my spirit and allow the magic of the divine to flow through me. I'll be studying, conceptualizing, and building the foundation for Mindful Movement's offerings to return from a more resourced place within myself and my personal practice.

If I am called to share, images or words, you'll be able to find those on my website. Otherwise, I presume I'll be back online in October, but I plan to follow the flow of my spirit and the seasons. I'm going inward. And if that means more time offline, I plan to trust the process.

I refuse to continue buying into the extractive pace of capitalism that threatens to suffocate my blooming essence the very moment it breathed its life into the world. I am protecting my energy, my peace, my resources. I trust that my people won't forget about me. I trust divine timing and the higher wisdom of the seasons of the land I call home to guide this journey.